Since The Last Time I Saw My Daughter!!!
Implications Of False Abuse Allegations
I made this website because of the feeling of injustice, that one get's when one is falsely accused of abuse. It seems no one want's to listen to your side of the story. Their is an abuse hysteria in our society today. I don't think many people realize the fear and physic trauma that the falsely accused go through. Your friend's have a hard time understanding and they just want you to get over it. It is not lightly that I compare false allegations of abuse with rape victims. After all you are being accused of being one of life's most despicable persons. You are subjected to police interview's court hearings, extreme stress all the while not knowing the outcome of an investigation. And then there are the financial consequences of false allegations. They can include loss of reputation,job, and the cost to defend yourself may run in to thousands of dollars. These Proceedings can proceed for month's and even years. In the mean time you are torn away form a child you love and care about.
There is also a feeling of disbelief that this is happening to you. You may also suffer from extreme anger,depression,sleep disturbances. I know when I going through these allegations, I would awake with the blankets in knots around me tossing and turning, nightmares and all kinds of symptoms that include lack of energy,feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. Because of the fear and shame there are not many people you can discuss these fears with.
Compounding the stress in my situation was the fact I worked in a children's hospital as an ultrasound tech. I have quit this job partly because of the allegations although it was of my own accord. Also this reminded me of the real child abuse that was occurring to children. I believe this compounded my anger especially helping other parent's children all the while being denied access to my own child. Also being forced into "supervised visitation" is an extremely humiliating experience. I would take a half a day off from my job and drive and hour and a half to see my child under these conditions. This after I was performing ultrasound exams on other people's children only a few hours earlier.
Another consequence of false allegations is that although you have never been charged with a crime your name is put into a Child Abuse Central Index, a national database of sex offenders. Any one applying for a licence or job (real estate child care, hospitals, etc) or undergoing a background check, will show up in the CACI as a suspected sex offender. And when it comes to child abuse , suspected is as good as guilty. Unless a man is found not quilt in a criminal trial, or unless CPS reports the allegations are false, the accused name will stay on the list for life. I do not know if I am on this index because social services found the charges unwarranted, in the court hearing the judge ruled against me mainly based on my childs mothers, testimony and the doctor's testimony. I know I had a background check when I stated my hospital job in 1995 that was completely normal. Also after never being charged with a crime, I had to endure a two year restraning order,that meant I could not possess a firearm for these two years or have any contact with my daughter unless "supervised"
When I visited my daughter under supervised conditions it was at Triniteam a local community counseling family center. My daughter was completely comfortable with me and the sessions went well. I showed the counselor's the social service's reports. They were mainly uninterested I could see they only looked at the issue from one side. Most of the employee's were woman and there were poster's on the wall depicting abused women. There was also a group of pictures on the wall of a little girl of three implying that she was sexually abused by her father, the picture then depicted a ruined life that followed because of the abuse and dysfunction. Then it show's the girl as a women becoming a alcoholic/drug addict. Finally her repressed memories come back of the abuse at three. She is now here and being treated by these wonderful counselors getting here life together. Well repressed memories are a theory that have come under increasing attack from such prestigious organizations as the AMA. and other organizations. Not only have I not abused my daughter there is a real fear that in the future one of these enlightened counselors with convince her she has "repressed memories". These abuse prevention advocates only talk about abuse of women and children by men when in fact of all child murderers 55% are by women and 66% of physical abuse, and 25% of sexual abuse are committed by women. When I wanted to talk to the director of this place, the assistant a man told me we would have to go outside to talk because of the political atmosphere.
I also believe the media only covers this issue from one side. I have talked to two reporter's in the town I live in and have been completely ignored, it seems it is a non-issue to them. It also seem's you can't pick up a paper or turn on the television or radio with out hearing about sex abuse. When I worked in the hospital one day I walked into the break room and there were two poster's on the wall about two sex offender's moving into the neighborhood. One of the secretary's went to a community meeting, because she lived in this neighborhood I understand the concern, but to a falsely accused person it seems you can not get away from hearing about it. There are an awfully lot of people getting hurt because of false allegation's because of nearly three million suspected child abuse cases a year two thirds are unsubstantiated.
I would like to reply to the doctor and nurse who testified against me. First I would like you to know one day at the children hospital I was doing a head ultrasound on a premature infant. The phone rang I answered it and it was Sacred Heart Hospital wanting to know if this patient could be transferred back to Wisconsin. They mentioned your name doctor. So while you believed I abused my daughter I was helping one of your patient's. You do not know the pain you have caused in my life. I know that by law you are mandated to report any suspected abuse, but you were so sure when you testified. How arrogant to only know one side of the story and come to your conclusion. I hope you visit this web site and read the evidence social services reports etc. I will be sending you this website address.
Lastly I want to explain the current abuse reporting law's for child care providers. Currently all states have a specific law that makes the failure to report suspected child abuse and neglect a crime. Criminal penalties not only put some "teeth" into reporting laws, they also help mandated reporters to explain to both children and parents why a report must be made. Nurses frequently relate how the mention of potential liability for the failure to report convinces reluctant hospital administers to act. The negligent failure to report may be professional malpractice. Liability can be extensive and long lived. The statue of limitations does not take effect against minor plaintiffs until they reach the age of eighteen. Thus the failure to report the suspected abuse may result in a lawsuit up to twenty-one years later. Of course, an action may be initiated on behalf of a child while he or she is still a minor if it is brought by a legal representative or a duly appointed guardian. The falsely accused parent has no legal recourse even if he proves the allegations are false.
As presently imposed, criminal and civil penalties encourage inappropriate reporting. Current liability statures penalize the negligent failure to report while granting immunity for incorrect, but good-faith reports . This combination of provisions encourages the overreporting of questionable situations. Fearful of being sued for not reporting, some professionals play it safe and report whenever they think there is the slightest chance that they will subsequently sued for not doing so. I understand why they report but they must be careful not to draw the wrong conclusions based on skimpy evidence or when one parent accuses the other, at least get all sides of the story.
Back To The News Were I Have Added Important Links Dealing With False Allegations